Go With The Flow...

Hello People of the page... Here it is the last day of August... Also... the night of the Blue Moon...
               Don't you love this photo????







 I do...
      I will pretend for a while… that this is me… Actually… I don’t have to pretend… I am forever trying to balance my life… between what I need to do and what I want to do… Don’t you find this true for you as well…? Marriage… children… work… play… family… Everybody and everything vying for our attention… So this… the night of the Blue Moon… I ask you to think about what is most important to you… What do you want for yourself? How will you achieve this? How far are you willing to go?
           I am prepared to go to the moon… and back!


 OK… tonight we will also look at #8 on our list of what “HAPPY PEOPLE DO DIFFERENTLY”… 

8. Increase flow experiences. – Flow is a state in which it feels like time stands still. It’s when you’re so focused on what you’re doing that you become one with the task. Action and awareness are merged. You’re not hungry, sleepy, or emotional. You’re just completely engaged in the activity that you’re doing. Nothing is distracting you or competing for your focus.

Over the years I have learned the Art of Flow... when I am working on something... artistic... I am always in a state of flow... Once I start... it is hard to pull out of it... A couple of weeks ago I was at the Sunday Market and I was working on a ceramic high heel... I was covering it in tiny pieces of stained glass... I was so intent on my work... that I really neglected my customers and visitors!  Before I knew it... a couple of hours had passed!  I do the same thing when I am grouting my Mosaics...  I do my grouting outside at a picnic table... The sound of the wind chimes my only companion... well that and my little animal friends... ;-)

It really is a lovely place to be... sometimes I have music on as a background... Especially when I write... Personally... I think my writing is better when I am listening to pieces that I love... Music has the power to really overwhelm me with emotion...

Of course... as I said earlier... Our lives are a juggling act at best!  You might say... "Who has the time to be whisked away... I have things to do"!!!!  That is just it... YOU have to make the time... Even if it is five or ten minutes a day... Listen to music in the car on your way to work... I like to listen to Louise Hay myself... I feel like I start my day with real grounded intentions of what I want for myself!  And as I am a teacher... I need to be focused... and ready for anything!  Maybe before you turn the light off at night... you say to yourself... "OK... here is my desire... I want to experience more joy in my life... Help me see a way to do this... Open up my mind and heart to be ready for this to enter my life"... You would be amazed at how interesting this will manifest this in your waking life!




What about you?  What carries you to another time and space?  I would love to hear your comments!





As Always...
  Candace
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FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE...

In my quest to expand on and talk about the “12 Things Happy People Do Differently” I thought I would do a little research before I jumped into the subject of forgiveness… and I was amazed at the amount of hits I got on line!  Really unbelievable…

First… here is number seven on our list of “Happy Things”…

7.  Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being.  You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion.  When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune system.  You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.

And… would you believe there is even an Institute of Forgiveness! Dr. Robert D. Enright is the founder of The “International Forgiveness Institute” located in Madison, Wisconsin. Their Mission is “Dedicated to helping people gain knowledge about forgiveness and to use that knowledge for personal, group, and societal renewal”.

 

The IFI is an outgrowth of the social scientific research done at the University of Wisconsin-Madison since 1985 by Dr. Robert Enright and his colleagues. Professor Enright was looking for a way to disseminate the findings of that research, and the research and writings by others exploring forgiveness, to interested people in all walks of life. The IFI has served as that forum ever since.

Since 2002, the IFI has focused almost exclusively on a new and challenging activity—the development of forgiveness education curricula for children in war-torn, impoverished, and/or oppressed areas of the globe. Their classroom research shows that as children learn about forgiveness, their levels of anger go down. Their theory is that such anger reduction in students will help them improve their interpersonal relationships to the point that they can begin to see, as they mature into adults, the best path toward justice. Dr. Enright believes that forgiveness education is one path toward peace.

As a teacher… I find this to be profoundly important for our students… I think I have mentioned before that I was a Montessori trained teacher while living in California… Maria Montessori lectured and wrote many articles and books throughout her life time..  Montessori spoke on Peace and Education at the Second International Montessori Congress in Nice, France; this lecture was published in 1932 and is one of my most treasured books… “Education And Peace”…  Maria Montessori went on to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize a total of six times.

After exploring Dr. Enright’s site… I would highly recommend taking a look at it… I have to say it is very comforting to know that there are so many people out there seeking and promoting peace!

http://www.internationalforgiveness.com

Which brings us full circle my friends… What are you doing in your own life concerning forgiveness???  I will tell you the truth… Sometimes it is easier said than done!  Just today I was talking to my sister (and keep in mind I was in the middle of writing about forgiveness)… and I was telling her that my oldest son had actually spoken to his father and step-mother and they (the adults) had not hung up on him!  My son was so happy that he might actually begin to have a relationship with his father again!  In telling this story to my sister… I had MANY unkind words to say about his father and wife… and the way they had treated our son over the years!  The angry words flew out of my mouth… It was as if no time had passed! I was right back there… feeling angry… NOT wanting to forgive their father for leaving.  So… how forgiving am I????

In the past I have wasted a lot of time and energy being angry with their father and how he treated all three of our children. Am I better for all of that anger and resentment??? No… not in the least… And the fact that I could conger up such angry words to hurl at him (once again) says that maybe I have yet to really forgive him… or myself…

Sometimes… one must let go of the past… let go of the hurt and anger… and move on!  And I believe too that negative emotions can rob us of our health!!! Oh my gosh!  I have known quite a few people that walk around with this “pinched” look on their faces… All because they are holding on to that negative energy!  I do not want this to be me ever again!

I want my children to have a loving and wonderful relationship with their father… I want them to have sweet memories of the time they have spent with him…

I will practice forgiveness…

As always…

Learning in life…

Candace

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The Forgiving Life

A pathway to overcoming resentment and creating a legacy of love.

In the The Forgiving Life, noted forgiveness expert, Robert D. Enright Ph.D., offers scientifically supported guidance to help people forgive those who have acted unfairly and have inflicted emotional hurt. The book describes a process, followed with success by people around the world, to confront the pain; rise above it to forgive; and in so doing, loosen the grip of the depression, anger, and resentment.

With thought provoking questions, engaging dialogue, and Dr. Enright's kind encouragement, this book does more than prepare you for a single act of forgiveness, it is the first step in living the forgiving life.

Don't sweat the small stuff... and it's all small stuff....

Wise words... but when you are in the middle of a full-blown-stressful-situation... it is difficult to be sane enough to remember!  
     Number 6 on our list... is about just this... HOW TO COPE!




 6.  Develop strategies for coping. – How you respond to the ‘craptastic’ moments is what shapes your character.  Sometimes crap happens – it’s inevitable.  Forrest Gump knows the deal.  It can be hard to come up with creative solutions in the moment when manure is making its way up toward the fan.  It helps to have healthy strategies for coping pre-rehearsed, on-call, and in your arsenal at your disposal.

I know that when I feel stress creeping towards my own personal fan... turning to family and friends for help and support always helps! Sometimes... just talking it out...  can help put a different spin on the offending situation! And we all know there is nothing like a girlfriend to snap you out of your "stress-induced-fugue"! In my last post I talked about Face Book and how keeping in touch with people through a social network can do wonders for us not feeling so alone!  Not to mention... helping us realize... that we are not the only ones... stressed with work or kids or life in general!  And sometimes we just need to step out of the situation... to see it for what it really is!  I know that this is easier said than done sometimes.

Stress is an amazing state of being... It can make us do ridiculous things!  I remember once being under a great deal of stress at home and at work and also having an ear ache. It never once occurred to me to go to the Doctor and have my ear looked at!  I just suffered in silence! Holy Molly!  Do NOT forget to take care of yourself!

I also find what works for me... is concentrating on deriving meaning from whatever the stressful situation is... I always know... in my heart of hearts... that there is a lesson to be learned at these times... And if... I slow down and and be still... with myself...  the "whys" seem to fall into place... and the lesson becomes clear(er) to me!  Then it is up to me... to change the outcome of how I handle my mini-crisis! 

One of the most positive ways people can cope with painful situations is through humor.  Who hasn't retold a personal story... that at the time you thought would kill you... but later... after you have come out the other side...  you turn it in to a funny story?!?  Of course this doesn't work with all stressful situations... But as I say... "Don't stress the little stuff... because it is ALL small stuff"...

When dealing with stress it is important to deal with your physical... mental... and social well being.  By following these simple ideas... you will have an easier time responding to the stresses in your lives...

                And don't forget to Breath...
;-)
As Always...
Candace
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Face Book 101...

Welcome to Spring...
    I have to admit that I am behind in my writing and posting of my BLOG! It's not that I didn't think about it... It's just that there is so much to do in any given day! And I am finding... that as I get older... instead of things slowing down... they seem to be speeding up! 


    I promise myself and others... that I will be "in touch"... "Let's plan a date"... "See you soon"... "Call me"!  And the time just seems to slip away... Which brings me to the next important item on the list of "12 Things That Happy People Do"...


5.  Nurture social relationships. – The happiest people on the planet are the ones who have deep, meaningful relationships.  Did you know studies show that people’s mortality rates are DOUBLED when they’re lonely?  WHOA!  There’s a warm fuzzy feeling that comes from having an active circle of good friends who you can share your experiences with.  We feel connected and a part of something more meaningful than our lonesome existence.


This is so true... and thanks to Face Book... (among other social networks, YouTube,Twitter,Google,Linkedin and Pinterest to name a few)... we are able to keep in touch with family and friends not to mention read/watch/listen to the latest "viral" phenomena!!!!  In fact I recently met a gentleman friend through "Linkedin"... (Who knew)!!!! ;-)


And don't forget that the behaviors behind these activities where ideas and news spread between individuals through dialogue have been present in society since prehistoric times and form part of our foundation of culture!


So the next time someone says to you that you are wasting your time on Social Networks... Remind them that you are just following an age old ritual of exchanging information AND... staying connected to the world... and the people in it!



Not to mention (I might add)... I just love to see the smile on my little great nephews as they delight in their everyday lives a thousand miles from me... To hear in the voice of a friend... just how happy and in love she is... To laugh out loud at a cartoon... Or shed a silent tear at an injustice to humanity... 


It is true that we are part of a "New Age"... a "New World" full of "New Technology"...
   
       But it is also true... that we still need people to hold close... and love...


As Always...
Candace
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Be Kind...

Today is my Birthday... And I have something important  to do... "To continue to be kind... to myself and others"...

So in our year long journey of exploring what... "Happy People Do Differently"...                                          we are at one of my favorites on the list... Being Kind...

"12 Things Happy People Do Differently"...

Practice acts of kindness. – Performing an act of kindness releases serotonin in your brain.  (Serotonin is a substance that has TREMENDOUS health benefits, including making us feel more blissful.)  Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to feel good inside.  What’s even cooler about this kindness kick is that not only will you feel better, but so will people watching the act of kindness.  How extraordinary is that?  Bystanders will be blessed with a release of serotonin just by watching what’s going on.  A side note is that the job of most anti-depressants is to release more serotonin.  Move over Pfizer, kindness is kicking ass and taking names.

And would you believe that there is even a "Foundation" for Random Acts of Kindness????

http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/Kindness-Ideas/Browse/ Holy Moly!!!! I was amazed when I went on line and I saw thee long list of sites you can go to... to give you ideas on how to be kind!  But it also made me think... do we really need to look it up on the internet... as to how to be kind to ourselves and others??? 

For me... being kind is a way of living... It goes to the very heart of how people treat and respect one another! Being kind is so important to our own lives and the lives of others. I believe that the roots of Kindness are deep within each of us.  But it is truly something that everyone can cultivate.

As you know... I am a teacher of small children... And I spend a great part of my day... listening and watching for situations that encouraging my children to be kind to each other and all living things.  And yes... learning to be kind begins when we are children.  Everyday... I try to point out when I see one of my children sharing... or doing something to help out in the classroom or recognizing when someone needs a hug!

And as quoted above... being kind and witnessing kindness... makes you feel better inside... and who doesn't need that! ;-) 

I am very happy to say that I am surrounded by wonderful loving people... whom are kind beyond words... My friends and family have taught me so much about what it means to think of others before themselves.. 

And let us not forget about our two and four legged friends... 

NOT... that I see myself as Snow White... but I do love this drawing... As a child... my pets... the wild animals around me were a huge source of comfort to me... Sometimes I think I am still waiting for little birds to light on my shoulder or finger and sing a song just for me!  ;-)  Many years ago when our children were very young... we would take some of our many pets to Convalescent Homes for the Seniors to have the opportunity to hold or pet the animals.  Sometimes... it was the one and only time some of these folks would speak... It was a very humbling experience to say the least!

So with all of this said... Drop what you're doing... and go out and spread a little joy! ;-)

I know I will today!

As Always...

  Candace

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I LIKE ME...

Hello Dear Friends... 
                 Is it really the middle of March??? We still have snow if you can believe it!

    This installment has taken longer to write than anticipated... and I will tell you why... It hit... way too close to home!  So... lets take a closer look at number three on the list.

"12 Things Happy People Do Differently"

3.  Avoid over-thinking and social comparison. – Comparing yourself to someone else can be poisonous.  If we’re somehow ‘better’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, it gives us an unhealthy sense of superiority.  Our ego inflates – KABOOM – our inner Kanye West comes out!  If we’re ‘worse’ than the person that we’re comparing ourselves to, we usually discredit the hard work that we’ve done and dismiss all the progress that we’ve made.  What I’ve found is that the majority of the time this type of social comparison doesn’t stem from a healthy place.  If you feel called to compare yourself to something, compare yourself to an earlier version of yourself.

I have to say... when I first read this... I began to feel a little (BIG) pang of guilt!?!  In fact... I was having a difficult time not thinking about my own behavior at times. Yikes!!!
Sometimes it is so easy to criticize others... To find fault with family... friends or co-workers... Oh we know just what to say... how to justify our comments... But underneath... the need to criticize simply belies a longing for recognition, appreciation, and validation. None of which, however... can be obtained through criticism!
The sad thing is this... We all want to feel good about ourselves.  To be seen for whom we really are... Loving... Caring... Talented Divine Creature of the Universe.  

Louis Hay writes in her book "You Can Heal Your Life"... "Little babies love every inch of their bodies. They have no guilt, no shame, and no comparison. You were like that, and then somewhere along the line you listened to others who told you that you were “not good enough.” The subconscious mind has no sense of humor and does not know false from true. It only accepts what we say and what we think as the material from which it builds".

I believe that this can be a life long struggle for some of us... To believe in our hearts... that we are all lovable! And my friends... we are! ;-)  How wonderful is that??? To realize that we are part of all that is good in this world!  That we have so much to offer! The sky... really is NOT the limit! 

As a teacher of small children... I feel that one of the most important jobs that we will ever do as a people is to encourage ALL children to continue believing in themselves... Make time to listen to them... Look deep into their eyes... Praise them... for just being them!

There is this Children's Book... "I LIKE ME"... By Nancy Carison.  I have read this book a million times to my own children and the children at school!  The kids love it and really 

get a kick out of the pictures!  ;-)  And the message is so simple... and so true... "You must love yourself... before you can love another"... 


I think EVERYONE should read this book!
      Oink Oink!  ;0)

OK Dear Friends... Go easy on yourself... Think good thoughts about yourselves... LOVE yourself and others...
   And you will reap the benefits!

In Love...
Candace
x0x

Being a Successful Diva

Hello Friends...
I hope this chilly February finds you all toasty warm... snug in your little homes... ;-)

Do you all remember the list I posted in January...

"12 Things Happy People Do Differently" 

Well... as promised... each month I plan to talk about one of the 12!  So lets look at Number 2. from the list... "Cultivating Optimism"...Here is what it says...

2. Winners have the ability to manufacture their own optimism.  No matter what the situation, the Successful Diva is the chick who will always find a way to put an optimistic spin on it.  She knows failure only as an opportunity to grow and learn a new lesson from life.  People who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in trying times.

So let’s think about this… “Cultivating Optimism”… What does “Cultivating” mean to you???  “To Grow”… “To Nourish Your Spirit… Your Life”… “To Seek Personal Fulfillment”???  For me… it is all of this and more.

I have already made mention that I always start and end my day in the same way… “Being thankful for all that I have”… I thank the Universe for
another perfect day. To make of it what I will.  To find joy in the smallest of events.  To be in the here and now.  And one of my latest affirmations is “I am open and receptive to all good”…  There is something to be said about “putting a smile on your face” and saying out loud… This is going to be a good day”! ;-)

Although I must admit… it wasn’t always this way for me.  There were many times in the past that I have been known to successfully blame others for how some thing turned out in my life!  IF ONLY… My Mother… My Boss… My Men… My Friends… IF ONLY they hadn’t done this or that!?!?! Wow… it is so easy to cling to this kind of thinking and so comforting to blame someone else and play the victim or martyr…  

Well in the late 90's I started reading Sarah Ban Breathnach's books... "Simple Abundance: A Day Book of Comfort and Joy"...  "Simple Abundance: Journal of Gratitude"... and "Something More:  Excavating Your Authentic Self"... I also started reading the work of Gary Zukav..."The Seat of the Soul"... "The Heart of the Soul"... "The Mind of the Soul"... These books were eye openers for me and I'm sure millions of others! The greater conscious mind was changing... and we had been given our own personal guides... Both Gary Zukav and Ms. Ban Breathnach have web sites that are very easy to explore!  You really should check them out.

I found that once I was not so defensive... and more willing to accept my own role in this Dance... I was able to say to myself... "OK Candace... what is your part in all of this"...  It was then... that I was able to begin to move through some of the psychic inner pain that I had been holding on to.  And as if on cue... life began to change for me... on a daily basis... ;-) Wonderful new opportunities started to present themselves to me... and because I trusted that life would only continue to get better and better... it did! 

I no longer had to be afraid of what tomorrow would bring...  Because whatever it brought... I was ready! ;-)  All I needed to do is stay open to the change... To stay calm... To breath... To listen to my inner voice... and know... that I would receive a greater gift from this experience.  I only had to ask...

I would like to challenge everyone to start thinking differently about... even one thing on your long list of daily experiences... Begin by telling yourself that you know that your day has the ability to be good... That it can be what you want and need!!! Be it the commute to work... Your neighbor's barking dog... The child that will not sit down and do their homework. Or maybe... just maybe... you can be more optimistic about yourself!  Louise Hay is a big believer in "Mirror Work"... When you get up in the morning... or really anytime... pick up a mirror... look into your eyes.. and say "I love you...." (fill in the blank)...  This simple affirmation can have a profound affect on your well-being...  I know... at first it might feel a little silly... or even scary... but it is so good for you.  Children LOVE to look at themselves in the mirror... they have no problem complementing themselves for what they see... We should all be so blessed.

Be sure and leave me some comments... I want to know how things go for you!

And remember... One is but to ask... It is all there waiting for us!

Blessings to us all...

Candace

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