FORGIVENESS IS A CHOICE...

In my quest to expand on and talk about the “12 Things Happy People Do Differently” I thought I would do a little research before I jumped into the subject of forgiveness… and I was amazed at the amount of hits I got on line!  Really unbelievable…

First… here is number seven on our list of “Happy Things”…

7.  Learn to forgive. – Harboring feelings of hatred is horrible for your well-being.  You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past and present emotion.  When you ‘hate’ someone, and you’re continuously thinking about it, those negative emotions are eating away at your immune system.  You put yourself in a state of suckerism (technical term) and it stays with you throughout your day.

And… would you believe there is even an Institute of Forgiveness! Dr. Robert D. Enright is the founder of The “International Forgiveness Institute” located in Madison, Wisconsin. Their Mission is “Dedicated to helping people gain knowledge about forgiveness and to use that knowledge for personal, group, and societal renewal”.

 

The IFI is an outgrowth of the social scientific research done at the University of Wisconsin-Madison since 1985 by Dr. Robert Enright and his colleagues. Professor Enright was looking for a way to disseminate the findings of that research, and the research and writings by others exploring forgiveness, to interested people in all walks of life. The IFI has served as that forum ever since.

Since 2002, the IFI has focused almost exclusively on a new and challenging activity—the development of forgiveness education curricula for children in war-torn, impoverished, and/or oppressed areas of the globe. Their classroom research shows that as children learn about forgiveness, their levels of anger go down. Their theory is that such anger reduction in students will help them improve their interpersonal relationships to the point that they can begin to see, as they mature into adults, the best path toward justice. Dr. Enright believes that forgiveness education is one path toward peace.

As a teacher… I find this to be profoundly important for our students… I think I have mentioned before that I was a Montessori trained teacher while living in California… Maria Montessori lectured and wrote many articles and books throughout her life time..  Montessori spoke on Peace and Education at the Second International Montessori Congress in Nice, France; this lecture was published in 1932 and is one of my most treasured books… “Education And Peace”…  Maria Montessori went on to be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize a total of six times.

After exploring Dr. Enright’s site… I would highly recommend taking a look at it… I have to say it is very comforting to know that there are so many people out there seeking and promoting peace!

http://www.internationalforgiveness.com

Which brings us full circle my friends… What are you doing in your own life concerning forgiveness???  I will tell you the truth… Sometimes it is easier said than done!  Just today I was talking to my sister (and keep in mind I was in the middle of writing about forgiveness)… and I was telling her that my oldest son had actually spoken to his father and step-mother and they (the adults) had not hung up on him!  My son was so happy that he might actually begin to have a relationship with his father again!  In telling this story to my sister… I had MANY unkind words to say about his father and wife… and the way they had treated our son over the years!  The angry words flew out of my mouth… It was as if no time had passed! I was right back there… feeling angry… NOT wanting to forgive their father for leaving.  So… how forgiving am I????

In the past I have wasted a lot of time and energy being angry with their father and how he treated all three of our children. Am I better for all of that anger and resentment??? No… not in the least… And the fact that I could conger up such angry words to hurl at him (once again) says that maybe I have yet to really forgive him… or myself…

Sometimes… one must let go of the past… let go of the hurt and anger… and move on!  And I believe too that negative emotions can rob us of our health!!! Oh my gosh!  I have known quite a few people that walk around with this “pinched” look on their faces… All because they are holding on to that negative energy!  I do not want this to be me ever again!

I want my children to have a loving and wonderful relationship with their father… I want them to have sweet memories of the time they have spent with him…

I will practice forgiveness…

As always…

Learning in life…

Candace

X0x

The Forgiving Life

A pathway to overcoming resentment and creating a legacy of love.

In the The Forgiving Life, noted forgiveness expert, Robert D. Enright Ph.D., offers scientifically supported guidance to help people forgive those who have acted unfairly and have inflicted emotional hurt. The book describes a process, followed with success by people around the world, to confront the pain; rise above it to forgive; and in so doing, loosen the grip of the depression, anger, and resentment.

With thought provoking questions, engaging dialogue, and Dr. Enright's kind encouragement, this book does more than prepare you for a single act of forgiveness, it is the first step in living the forgiving life.